Friday, June 26, 2015

Wipe your tearrrr!!!

OMG I'm as excited as him, Brook!
hahahahaha, how I love one piece >_<

oh, wait...
why is that?
I don't know exactly hahaha
but it just suddenly comes from the bottom of my heart!

the happiness, the excitement and all
alhamdulillah, I must say a lot of thanks to my only God, Allah SWT :*

I know I am lame (most of the times)
I did a lot of stupid and extremely reckless things
but hey, as far as I still have time in this world, I might just better stop crying and stop doing self pity

and in this Ramadhan, I'll be a better me
I'll do my best 
and you know what?

I finally fix it!
I finally apologized and I finally told the truth to them
and now I feel as light as a feather

sometimes we just have to be truthful
and accept the fact that it was our faults and we MUST admit it, then apologize of what we've done
and offer solutions to fix it

because if we didn't
we will live a life full of regret

now that it's getting better, I'll travel more and I'll write more too as well
and oh, I'll take the course, the course that I always wanted, OMG, I'm sooo soo soo excited >_<<<

can't wait to have my first class with my new sensei \(^0^)/
and I promise myself to beat your score hahahaha


yaaayyy :*

Saturday, June 20, 2015

contemplation (?)

it was late, I know
but...really? was it?

oh God, what have I done to myself?
what have I done to himself?

is it possible to rewind those things?
is it possible to fix them all?

the more I force myself to stay away
the more it gets closer

and it's been sooo far already
what should I do?

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

so I was Tumblring (2)

let's continue the 'so I was Tumblring' then ❤

6. Talk about the worst birthday you've had
Geez, it was my 23rd birthday ������
because the person I really hope to be the first sending me a birthday greeting did not do it
I was really sad and depressed, but thank God it wasn't that bad finally because of "the miracle"

7. Talk about your biggest insecurity
I think everyone knows already...
whenever and wherever cats around

8. Talk about the thing you are most proud
I am so proud of my advanced network score, which is A, since I almost know nothing about it, never fully listen to the lecturer, never read anything related to it.
So, here's the story : one day, the lecturer gave the class an awfully difficult assignment, and he will only give the A as a final score to the first two teams who are ready to present the assignment.
I really want to get the A, and it's the only way for me to get it. As I told you before, I'm sucks on advanced network, and I know that I won't get a good score if I keep on doing what I'm doing (skip the class & never study the matter) so I challenged myself to be the very first team who are ready.
It wasn't an easy thing to do, it was something really new and strange for me, because not only I never learn anything about network but I also know nothing about Linux, yes it requires Linux.
So, the very fist thing I did was recall my memory about whoever knows about advanced network and very familiar with Linux.
And...thank God I found this big guy!
he taught me everything about it (I mostly didn't understand).
In a month..., I master all of it already. It was from 0, even minus, but when I really learn about it, it wasn't as difficult as what I thought, and I'm proud of myself that I didn't give up, that I was strong, that I'm able to be a better student.
I also thank the guy for the entire of my life, Riza, thanks a lot!

9. Talk about the little things on your body that you like the most
I like my feet, I think they're funny hahaha

10. Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had
it was the fight I had with a friend of mine when I was in 5th grader, she was really annoying and she was picking on my sister too! so I hit both of her arms, I pull out her hair, I kicked her legs, and I pinched on all around her body, and I slapped her face hard.

so that's it hahaha, I'll continue the rest on next post!
see ya on 'so I was Tumbring (3)' then ��

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, April 26, 2015

the boy

it was my 4th day I remember
mas Sigit asked me whether I want Davit to buy me food or not
I said yes, and he asked me back
whether I want some noodles, fried rice or batagor, or even anything else.
I asked him back : what about meatball?
he replied : yes of course! meatball and noodles, or chicken noodles and meatball?
chicken noodles and meatball for sure! I said excitedly
alright, err wait, what meatball do you want? a huge meatball or just small ones?
the bigger the better!

then 30 minutes later
Davit came with the lovely chicken noodles with a huge meatball and for God's sake! taste sooo yummy, no exaggeration

the next day, I was so curious I want to buy the meatball again straight from its place
then Mbak Cita accompanied my to go to the place, and oh, yes, Regar too
so we went there, it was pretty dark though it was still 7pm
but really, this housing area is way too dark
and I just don't get it, why would anyone feeling fine living in a damn dark area like this on these days? they really need some light here, there and everywhere around!
ww...wait a sec..or maybe...there are things that I don't know happening every night? inside the darkness? eww.... gives me the nerves...

just forget about the darkness then

well, we then finally there!
the place is quite small but pretty clean
nice I said to myself
and I ordered : chicken noodles & meatball hell yeah
oh, and avocado juice too (the juice oh the juice, heavenly good ha!)
I feel so happy that night
I feel reborn hahaha

except for one thing...
you or 3 days later, I went there again, alone
and I was kinda stupid so I almost lost my way hahaha
but thank God I finally made it
and I went there a lot after that too
and there is this boy
he looks somewhat like my nephew
I think he is 14 or so
and whenever I go there, he is there too
I mean isn't he supposed to be at school?
why is he always there?
is he working for the noodles seller or what?
or is he the noodles seller relative or what?
the questions always appear in my mind everytime I go there
and I feel kind of sad because of never asking him yet

oh God..really...
I feel so bad and so sad knowing that he is always there, missing his childhood working
without proper education, without proper time to play with kids on his age
it's not fine, it's not right

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, April 25, 2015

I am sick
and I am so scared

things went wrong
inside me

and I am so helpless

and I don't know
which one real

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, April 20, 2015

I feel so sick I can barely get up my bed

but I can't stay there forever

I forced myself to walk outside

I almost forgot how to breathe

It's so painful

oh God ������

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, April 19, 2015

lesson I learnt

I was reading a discussion in a group chat, they were discussing about something I don't really understand, something related to machinary thingy.

I keep on reading to find out more information so that I'll understand.

But all of sudden, someone who were not in the disccussion posted a picture of a group of girls.

I was like : what the heck? what is so wrong with her? is she trying to get everyone's attention or something? Geez, this random stupid picture is just so God damn out of the topic, I'm sick of it, I just can't understand her, at all.

the boss of the discussion appeared typing this:
ssstttt stay quiet, the girls are studying

God, I've been so negatively reactive

and he indirectly taught me to be positively proactive

that's why great people are great

they think the different way
they take it easy

now I can see how great people deal with such kind of situation
I am ashamed of myself x_x

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

a little humour

tetehnya : nasi ayam ya?
saya : iya teh, sama sup yah
tetehnya : iya, nggak pernah yg lain? ini aja?
saya : iya hehe, habis sukanya itu
(then mencoba untuk beda)
saya : eh tambahin ati ampela juga deh
tetehnya : ha? ini kan udah ayam?
saya : iyah gapapa, tambahin aja
tetehnya : nggak sekalian sebadan? tambahin telur sama ususnya juga?
saya : hahahaha nggak ah teh, nggak suka telur
tetehnya : ini bakal langsung dimakan semua?
saya : liat ntar deh hehehe

Saturday, April 11, 2015


never before I got such a wonderful celebration

my day was almost as black as black hole

I hoped that the first message will come from the person I hope will do
but I was wrong

maybe I expect too much

and it's all my fault
I should never did

so I waited...
but nothing come up
nothing at all
not a single message

I then triggered it
but still, nothing happened

I don't know

I shouldn't cry
I shouldn't be sad

God, thank you so much for the celebration and for the gift

it was too much that I cried a lot
I'm overwhelmed

but I'm happy
I really am

and I'm sorry
because deep...deep in my heart
I still think that I never deserve such as gift...

thus it makes me cry, again
posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

so I was Tumblring....

Omfg "talk about" is a lot cuter than ask me
  • 1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
  • 2:Talk about your first kiss.
  • 3:Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
  • 4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
  • 5:Talk about the best birthday you've had.
  • 6:Talk about the worst birthday you've had.
  • 7:Talk about your biggest insecurity.
  • 8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
  • 9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
  • 10:Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
  • 11:Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
  • 12:Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.
  • 13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
  • 14:Talk about a vacation.
  • 15:Talk about the time you were most content in life.
  • 16:Talk about the best party you've ever been to.
  • 17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
  • 18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
  • 19:Talk about something that happened in middle school.
  • 20:Talk about something that happened in high school.
  • 21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
  • 22:Talk about your worst fear.
  • 23:Talk about a time someone turned you down.
  • 24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
  • 25:Talk about an ex-best friend.
  • 26:Talk about things you do when you're sick.
  • 27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
  • 28:Talk about your fetishes.
  • 29:Talk about what turns you on.
  • 30:Talk about what turns you off.
  • 31:Talk about what you think death is like.
  • 32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
  • 33:Talk about what you do when you are sad.
  • 34:Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
  • 35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
  • 36:Talk about your guilty pleasures.
  • 37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
  • 38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
  • 39:Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
  • 40:Talk about the end of something in your life.

so, I was Tumblring right?
and...I found what I pasted above...and...because it's around 10 and I got a few more hours before I'm going to work, soooo, let's make it! (5 of it first, and I'll update the rest tomorrow)

  • 1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
  • it was around 2007 or even less...
  • could be 2005, I was watching MetroTV, and I saw one scene of a movie that wowed me!
  • it was about a huge chocolate waterfall and someone unique with a tall hat
  • I didn't know what's the title of the movie...
  • and a few years later, my brother gave me a DVD player, so I started lending DVDs
  • and accidentally I found the exactly same scene, there printed on the front cover of the DVD
  • the chocolate waterfall!
  • so then I finally found out that it titled : Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
  • awwww, I'm sooo sooo sooo happy and excited, really!!!
  • 2:Talk about your first kiss.
  • oh God, should I?
  • eww....
  • I don't feel like talking about it
  • my first kiss was kinda terrible, eww....
  •  I somehow feel like I'm about to vomit, ewwww hahhahahah
  • 3:Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
  • what if the person is...myself? :O
  • no, I'm joking ehehehehe
  • well, you might already know who he really is
  • he is the one I really care and love
  • and I really, really hope that one day we can have a cute little family!
  • 4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
  • oh dear..., no, not now #sobs
  • 5:Talk about the best birthday you've had.
  • hahahaha, it was kinda long time ago
  • when I was 14
  • I went to school just like what I always do
  • it was 20th or even 22th April 2006
  • so I never expected such kind of birthday surprise
  • all of sudden, my teacher called upon my name
  • and the other 4, she asked us to go in front of the class, standing
  • and she asked : you know why did I call your name?
  • and of course we didn't, so we shake our heads, because, yes, we had no idea why
  • and she continued : I won't let you sit till you find out why, till you know what mistake you all did today
  • and I was like : whaaat? mistake? what did I do so wrong till I deserve this?
  • I recall all the memory I have, especially for that day
  • and I don't feel like I did something unusual
  • and she shouted at us: come on! you rebel!
  • oh God, I almost dropped my tear
  • I mean, it was the very first time a teacher angry at me, I'm the kind of a silent student who just know how to study and get good marks
  • I never have fights, never trigger noises, never be a 'rebel' at all
  • what happened anyway?
  • and why?
  • and you know what?
  • someone cried, it was a friend of mine standing just after my shoulder
  • she said sorry, and cried, and she said she really had no idea of what she did wrong, but she really apologized for that
  • then ...
  • the ice breaker
  • Happyyy Birrthhhhdaaaayyy tooo youuuu
  • Happy birthhhhdaaaaayyy tooo youuuuuu
  • Happpyyy Birthhhdaaaayyyy
  • Hhaaaaappppyyy Biiirrthhhhdaaaayyy
  • Haappppyyy biiirrthhhdaaayyyy TOOO YOOUUU
  • and all of people in the class shake our hands and wished us a very awesome birthday
awwww, then we all finally dropped our tears hahahahah
it was sooooo soooo unexpected
because it was way so far from the day I have my birthday, so did everyone else

the point is they did it so that we didn't know that it was a birthday surprise for all students who have birthday on April hahahhaha
nice everyone, thanksss :*

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